for the blokes

I love that picture! :D

This week's EBI was directed more toward the fellas, but I found it to be quite an encouragement for me personally. Jim Berg talked about the role of a husband in marriage and raised some very good points along the way. But I have to say, my favourite illustration was when he related the role of a husband to the Good Shepherd, Christ, in Psalm 23.

Psalm 23 has always been one of my favourite passages in the Bible. In fact, it was one of the first 'long' passages that I memorised. The imagery of Jesus loving His sheep so dearly and keeping them safe has always given me so much comfort. And when Coolio quoted Psalm 23:4a in Gangsta's Paradise, man, I thought that the coolest thing! (my walk with God was not all that fantastic at the time :P).

So when JB explained how Psalm 23 was like an illustration of a godly husband, it was like a penny had dropped. It just makes so much sense. Some people will have you think that the wife is the husband's slave - but I think it is their loss to think of the marriage relationship as that. JB explains that the husband should always try to learn how to be a loving leader - and should therefore love and care for his flock of one (I love that phrase!) which may become Lord willing, a flock of more, to the point where the sheep have the same response in Psalm 23 - they shall not want, their soul will be restored, they won't fear evil, they should feel comforted, they are looked after physically (head is anointed with oil), their needs are more than fulfilled (their cup runneth over), goodness and mercy will follow them, and they should want to dwell with that shepherd all the days of their life!

So to do that, the shepherd must be able to do the following:

- know where the green pastures are
- know where the still waters are
- lead the sheep to paths of righteousness (if he doesn't know where these are - he should find out)
- protect his sheep
- comfort his sheep (he shouldn't expect comfort from his sheep, though sheep should encourage their shepherd)
- give the sheep a sense of security by providing for their spiritual, physical and emotional needs - sheep should feel safe
- be there for her

The above may not be an exhaustive list, but it's what I could remember. I would really encourage those of you, brothers especially, who have not seen this talk to go along to the re-run of it next Sunday (11 May) at 7pm. Failing that, here are my notes from Wednesday night...

THE ROLE OF THE MAN IN THE HOME

A. HE IS A LEADER (Eph 5:23)
- follow the example of the Good Shepherd (Psalm 23)

- The Good Shepherd is a Provider
--- He provides for the sheep's physical (affection and protection) and spiritual (bringing God into the relationship and setting an example for the wife) well-being which will result in providing for her emotional (comfort and complement) well-being.
--- Her security should be the measure of his leadership


B. HE IS A LOVER (Eph 5:25, Col 3:19)
Remember how Christ loves us...
1. Christ loves first (1 John 4:19) - take the initiative to be responsible, to love, to lead..

2. Christ loves most (Eph 5:25) - constant sacrificial giving. Note that Christ loves the church more than the church loves Christ.

3. Christ loves in spite of faults (Rom 5:8) - though her faults may come as a surprise to you, God knew about them and has given you sufficient grace to overcome them

4. Christ loves sacrificially (Eph 5:25)

5. Christ loves purposefully (Eph 5:26-27) - sanctify and cleanse your flock, improve their situation.


C. HE HAS TO BE A LEARNER (1 Peter 3:7)
- the world says you can't understand a woman, God says 'you MUST!'

1. It requires humility
a. Know her limitations, be gentle (it takes strength to be gentle. She is the weaker vessel - handle with care emotionally and physically)
b. Know her position, be respectful of it (you married the King's daughter)

2. It requires input
a. Reading - the Bible and other books
b. Couple retreats, conferences etc.
c. Conversation with her - she should feel safe enough to give her opinion.

CONCLUSION - Learn to be a loving leader.

Eph 5:21 - submit ye one to another.

Wives should submit to his leadership, husbands should submit to her limitations.