saying the un-say-able

I often say and do things which I really wish I could make people forget. I occasionally suffer from chronic verbal diarrhoea, where the delayed realisation that I have said or done something inappropriate dawns on me and makes me subsequently wish that I had access to one of these...

Hehe do you remember the neuralyzer from Men in Black?

But I also have the opposite problem (though admittedly this is not as common) of NOT saying things that I probably should. For example, I will see someone with their fly undone and just quickly look away rather than do the kind thing and let them know. In retrospect, it would be much kinder to tell them as soon as I noticed it because it would mean that less people would see and they would subsequently save a bit more face. Not saying anything (on the other hand) until much later, will of course mean that more people will have the opportunity to see the undone fly and the person will not only feel embarrassed that their fly was undone, but they will have the compounded embarrassment of having to fix the problem with more people realising what has just happened.

Early intervention is always the best cure!

Another thing I have a problem doing is letting people know when they have done something that has offended me, caused me to stumble or be discouraged. Though I may have been quite hurt, I tend to just grin and bear the situation, and just continue to stew on it. It's a very unhealthy cycle that I have going on here and I am fully aware of it, but it is something that I know that I need to do something about. By His grace, God has shown me that to leave things unsaid is wrong, and I do believe I am making some progression with this, albeit subtle.

I think my main barrier is the fear I may come across to the person as over-sensitive (which I guess I can be at times) and a hypocrite (because yes, I admit, I would have definitely said things in the past which would have had the same effect on others - or even worse, I could have done the very same thing that was done against me to cause me to be discouraged). Letting someone know their shortcomings is a tough thing to do, but it's biblical.

Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

I just really hope that God will help me to be able to take future wounds inflicted upon me too.

The second part of the verse is very true too - flattery is not only fake and deceitful, it can be a hinderance to spiritual growth too. By saying nice things about someone all the time and never saying anything about their weaknesses, the flattered person gets fooled into believeing that they have no cause for concern and therefore, no need to try improve. Though I love to be complemented (I mean seriously, who doesn't?), if someone is just saying nice things with no reason to do so other than mere flattery or to give you a false sense of friendship - I would rather them not say anything. I'm sure you know of someone who always says nice things to people's faces and then talks smack about them behind their back. Nobody really likes that kind of person.

In the same way, a lot of the time, people don't take criticism well (e.g. talking bad about someone who criticised them), and because this eventually becomes common knowledge, people avoid criticising them. These people end up becoming 'untouchable' but at the same time, will never really know what they could have become if they were to take on board what others say. And let's face it, that's pretty sad.

Though I can be as tough as nails on the outside, I'm often as soft as tofu on the inside. So I really hope and pray that God will show me how to give, take and apply criticism in my life.

this time next week...

... I will be at the 'Top End'. Earlier this week, my work asked if anyone was interested in making a trip up north to help out the Darwin Office with some assessments and I jumped at the opportunity. I have never been to Darwin before and the thought of a mini-holiday was very appealing. I will be a spending next week there from Tuesday to Sunday. I'm pretty excited. Not just because it's a whole new place that I have never visited, but I also think it will be a really good spiritual getaway to spend some time away from Perth, do some reading, and see some of God's awesome creation (including some trademark wet season thunderstorms and lightning). And I also get to see some crocodiles! It's gonna be great!

ode to the banana

I have learned to be patient with eating bananas. If they don't snap open, it means they need some time to open up. I've had enough waxy mouth experiences to know that it is just not worth rushing the slightly green friend of mine. Once they turn yellow, they snap open so easily, and because they have been pre-packaged, there's no need to wash before eating! The ready-to-eat contents have completed their transformation from hard, waxy naffness to soft, sweet mushiness. Full of Potassium (what you need Potassium for is beyond me), they are supposedly nutritious, but undoubtedly tasty.

However, once they turn black, they pretty much open themselves up and try to make themselves more tasty by turning up the sweetness to an unappetising level. Some would call such an attempt desperate, but amazingly, they can still be used to make a really good banana cake (and they work much better than their yellow counterparts).

All in all, the banana is an awesomely-intelligently-designed fruit - once it turns yellow.

stan, the man

This year I have been following Australian Idol on the Internet - I never seem to be able to catch the episode because I am usually out, but I play catch up on the net. This year, a young man named Stan came onto the scene with a very intriguing voice, and as the show profiled him, it became very public that he was a Christian. Throughout the show, he has been wow-ing the judges and all the celebrity guests, but tonight, he did something that I thought was very brave. He sang Amazing Grace as one of his songs! It will be interesting to see what happens if he wins the competition - whether he will sell out one day, or remain a witness and testimony in the industry (I really hope it will be the latter). But the performance tonight was fantastic. I hope he wins!

we're singing 170

Caleb taught me a song recently which I really have grown to love in the past week. It's written by Mac Lynch and is found in the Wild's We're Singing Songbook, number 170. The lyrics have been an encouragement to my heart and as such I would like to share them here.

Don't Be Afraid

Lyrics and Music by Mac Lynch

When deep water curls around you and fear replaces faith,
When the floods would seem to overwhelm God's promises of grace,
When the fires seem overtaking and all seems torn and tossed,
Trust His Word, O truly listen, hear Him say, "All is not lost."

CHORUS
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid.
I have redeemed you; you are Mine; don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid.
You are a precious child to Me; don't be afraid.

I am with you thru the water, I'm with you thru the flood.
They will never overwhelm you: I have bought you with My blood.
Even though you walk thru fire, I'll go with you all the way.
I'm your Saviour, truly listen, hear Me say, these words I say:

CHORUS
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid.
I have redeemed you; you are Mine; don't be afraid.
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid.
You are a precious child to Me; don't be afraid.

I have read the Bible!

After two years, and seven months - I have read the Bible from cover to cover. I'm not sure exactly when I started reading, but that's how long I have been documenting my reading (albeit sporadically). My thoughts? Well, in a way, I am very happy that I can finally say that I have finished reading the whole Bible. I have always felt a bit sheepish as a Christian because I had not read through the whole Bible before. Though it is no sole indicator of how 'good' you are as a Christian (in God's eyes anyway), it was something that I just always felt a bit guilty about. How could I say that I believed the Bible when I hadn't even read through the whole thing?

It had also crossed my mind a few times that if I were to die and meet God, I wouldn't be able to say to Him that I had read His number one best-seller in it's entirety. Not that He would hold that against me, but it would be a bit embarrassing!

I'm also glad that it's all done, because, though I got a lot out of reading the whole Bible, at times (I am ashamed to say) it felt like a bit of a chore. While I was reading some parts of the Bible, my heart was just elsewhere and I just wished I could finish the Bible off quickly so I could go back to my favourite books and study them more instead. There were also other times that other non-Bible books were much more appealing to read because compared to the relatively 'dry' patch I was reading in the Bible, the other book offered either something more practical or entertaining and I subsequently took breaks from my reading scheme. It sounds terrible, but I must admit that is what I was feeling in my sinful heart. I really thank God that He taught me to appreciate even the 'boring' parts of the Bible as they too have valuable lessons that help me to understand who God is and how we should view Him.

But in the end, the biggest lesson I have learned from the reading the whole Bible (in conjunction with the last few months where at church and Bible Study we have been studying the Old Testament books Ezra,2 Chronicles and 2 Kings) is that perspective and context really help aid understanding of God's Word. Reading the whole Bible has given me a wider view of the Bible and all it's events. I still find it absolutely amazing how the Bible is so linked and so interconnected. It has not only made me realise how LITTLE I know about the Bible and how MUCH I have yet to learn, it has shown me in new ways how much God loves us and how constant His love is toward us - yesterday, today and forever.

I think the next step is to read through the Bible chronologically to gain an even better understanding of when stuff happened. Then dig deeper and deeper. I think the rest of my life will never be enough to study the Bible completely, but I will try my best!