Hehe do you remember the neuralyzer from Men in Black?
But I also have the opposite problem (though admittedly this is not as common) of NOT saying things that I probably should. For example, I will see someone with their fly undone and just quickly look away rather than do the kind thing and let them know. In retrospect, it would be much kinder to tell them as soon as I noticed it because it would mean that less people would see and they would subsequently save a bit more face. Not saying anything (on the other hand) until much later, will of course mean that more people will have the opportunity to see the undone fly and the person will not only feel embarrassed that their fly was undone, but they will have the compounded embarrassment of having to fix the problem with more people realising what has just happened.
Early intervention is always the best cure!
Another thing I have a problem doing is letting people know when they have done something that has offended me, caused me to stumble or be discouraged. Though I may have been quite hurt, I tend to just grin and bear the situation, and just continue to stew on it. It's a very unhealthy cycle that I have going on here and I am fully aware of it, but it is something that I know that I need to do something about. By His grace, God has shown me that to leave things unsaid is wrong, and I do believe I am making some progression with this, albeit subtle.
I think my main barrier is the fear I may come across to the person as over-sensitive (which I guess I can be at times) and a hypocrite (because yes, I admit, I would have definitely said things in the past which would have had the same effect on others - or even worse, I could have done the very same thing that was done against me to cause me to be discouraged). Letting someone know their shortcomings is a tough thing to do, but it's biblical.
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
I just really hope that God will help me to be able to take future wounds inflicted upon me too.
The second part of the verse is very true too - flattery is not only fake and deceitful, it can be a hinderance to spiritual growth too. By saying nice things about someone all the time and never saying anything about their weaknesses, the flattered person gets fooled into believeing that they have no cause for concern and therefore, no need to try improve. Though I love to be complemented (I mean seriously, who doesn't?), if someone is just saying nice things with no reason to do so other than mere flattery or to give you a false sense of friendship - I would rather them not say anything. I'm sure you know of someone who always says nice things to people's faces and then talks smack about them behind their back. Nobody really likes that kind of person.
In the same way, a lot of the time, people don't take criticism well (e.g. talking bad about someone who criticised them), and because this eventually becomes common knowledge, people avoid criticising them. These people end up becoming 'untouchable' but at the same time, will never really know what they could have become if they were to take on board what others say. And let's face it, that's pretty sad.
Though I can be as tough as nails on the outside, I'm often as soft as tofu on the inside. So I really hope and pray that God will show me how to give, take and apply criticism in my life.
