call me the caffeinator

Coffee - the most necessary of all evils

Today I had...

Two double shot coffees

A can of red bull

and some Coke Zero

the beautiful letdown

Well let's face it, it wasn't beautiful. It stunk. Stunk like a burrito left in the sun, or a very average Mexican ref who robbed the socceroos of a chance at the World Cup. OK, Sure. Aussies didn't have a chance to begin with but the sting was totally real. Or maybe I am over-reacting because I, like most patriotic and over-hopeful Aussies, did not get enough sleep last night.

Yes. I set my alarm this morning for 2:30am, got out of my toasty, warm bed - eyes hardly able to open, plopped in front of the TV with my doona, and watched as goal after goal, the socceroos got owned by the Bratwursts (and the little Mexican Ref). It was heart-breaking. I had to stop watching after the fourth goal hit the back of the net.

But the loss, the bad reffing, the constant buzzing of those wretched horns, the poor timing of matches, the constant diving/over-reacting, and the fact that Australia doesn't seem to have a chance, will not put me off the World Cup!

I still went out today for Maccas - just to get a free World Cup cup. I still (even as I am typing this) will keep watching the Netherlands and Denmark fight it out - even though I don't even care for either country (going for Denmark cos they are the underdogs, and because Apple Danishes are nom nom)... And then Cameroon and Japan (going for Japan - because they are technically Asian and I love karage)... I will still watch and read the news about the World Cup, even though I don't follow football normally... And I will still wake up early again for the Aussies (cos they will most probably only have two more games left in the Cup!)

I have a bad case of football fever!

wardrobe stock take

On the weekend, I had a bit of a mini stocktake on my wardrobe and was really surprised to see just how much stuff I have in there! I seriously have a lot of clothes and the only reason I can fit everything into my wardrobe is because there is always something in the laundry!

I have a problem.

So I think it's about time that I take some action. Here is my plan...

1. No more shopping for a month or at least until I have sorted through everything. Ouch! This will be hard it's the end of financial year - and there are sales galore! Every time I have the urge to shop, I will spend time sorting.

2. Proper stocktake - sorting everything into jeans, summer tops, cardies, vests, coats, long-sleeved, dresses, skirts, work pants, tees, etc

3. The great purge - decide whether stuff should be kept, saved for the next clothes swap, thrown away, put in a sewing pile for alterations, put on probation (i.e. keep it just in case I think I can work it back into the wardrobe, but if not, it's a gone-r!)

4. Replace wardrobe/drawers an an orderly manner.

Somehow, I think this task is going to be greater than I can handle, but we'll see how it goes.

Any suggestions to make it easier?

baby got ba-by showered

A few weeks ago I went to a friend's Baby Shower... It was so much fun hanging out, eating lotsa yummy food and drinking lotsa yummy tea... And I scored a prize! Thought it was a nice touch too that every guest left with a white rose with a handwritten note to say thanks for coming! so sweet!

of pics past - the lwe

current reading

Wow, haven't done this in a while!

Well let's see... I'm reading a few books at the moment...

1. How Women Can Help Men Find God by David Murrow - verdict so far? read with discernment, but some good points.
2. A Woman's Choice by Eugenia Price - not far enough into it to comment
3. Faith Beyond Reason by AW Tozer - wow!
4. Discipline: The Glad Surrender by Elisabeth Elliot - easy read so far
5. Be Real by Warren Wiersbe - not far enough into it to comment
6. Book of Psalms - switched to this from Leviticus.. la la laaa..

But I have also recently finished a few other books...

1. Not My Will by Andrew Murray - wow!
2. The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom - wow!!

And I have given up on a few other books

1. The Left Behind Series - might come back to this one day
2. Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella, and a book by Marian Keyes - both recommended by a colleague, OK, but just think my time could be used much better

starts with p and ends with ride

Occasionally there are times where I just feel fragile. I get into this moody, emo state where I get ultra-sensitive, down-hearted and get consumed with a cloud of self-pity. Usually it doesn't take much to trigger such feelings, but small things become huge things and the depressive state begins.

I've had a bit of a think about why this happens to me and I have come to realise it is mainly because of one thing - Pride.

I have never really thought of myself as a proud person (I guess just by saying that I qualify as being proud!) - in the sense that I don't usually look down on people and think I am fantastic. But God has shown me that I am proud in other ways - I get complacent about my spiritual state because hey, at least I'm doing more than just coming to church on Sundays... or I think something that I am helping to plan is going to go really well because of all the effort I'd invested... or I feel as though I shouldn't be treated with perceived antagonism (and so many times it is perceived and not real at all) because I had done nothing to deserve it... or I believe that because I have been obedient, I should have my desires met... or I get discouraged because I had been misunderstood and that an incorrect opinion of me had been formed as a result... or I think my will should be done, and not so much God's will... I could list so many more things.

It's like I have taken the L'oreal commercial too much to heart and I just think that only good feelings should come my way 'because I'm worth it'. But no. The Bible reminds me that what I really deserve is what was given to Christ - nails through His hands and feet, a spear through His side, and suffering beyond anything I could ever imagine.

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Blessings are what they are - blessings. They aren't deserved! They aren't owed to me! They're a pleasant bonus in life. Even if I live my whole life never feeling accepted, loved, valued, included, acknowledged, or I never have any of my desires fulfilled and instead I go through continued trials, tribulations and discouragement - I should be OK with this, because what have I done, really, to deserve otherwise? My flesh keeps telling me what I should have, but the Spirit reminds me what I truly should be given. And man, what a difference there is between the two!

God is showing me that I need to learn to humble myself, and as Amy Carmichael says, I need to die to self...

When you are forgotten, or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don't sting and hurt with the insult or oversight but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ, that is dying to self.

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinion ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient loving silence,that is dying to self.

When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any solitude, and interruption by the will of God, that is dying to self.

When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown, that is dying to self.

When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met, and honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy nor question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances, that is dying to self.

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself, and humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart, that is dying to self.

He's changing me, slowly but surely. And though it is a blow to my pride to admit that I have a problem with pride, I'm thankful that I realise this now rather than later in my life!

Please God, continue to mould and shape me. Purge me of my prideful heart and replace it with true humility and confidence in You. Remind me Lord, and help me never take for granted what Jesus' went through for me because of my sin. Help me hate sin as you do. Please Lord, help my faith grow, so that I may trust in You with my whole heart - come what may. In Jesus' name, Amen.