insomnia

I have always been a bit of a light sleeper. Pretty much all throughout uni, I have had trouble sleeping and had been waking up tired on most days. When I started working, I think the routine of work had really helped me to establish healthier sleeping habits (regular sleeping and waking times) and I had been sleeping heaps better as a result.

But in the past few weeks, I think pretty much since the Bible Conference, I have had difficulty sleeping once again. And I really don't know why. It's like I have forgotten how to fall asleep - sounds strange hey? I find that my mind keeps thinking about all these random things (which I can't even remember what they were) and the next thing I know, the birds have started chirping outside and it's nearly time to get out of bed!

It's frustrating because for the rest of the day, I feel absoultely knackered and I have no energy. Lack of sleep is not very fun at all. When I talked to a few people about this, they pretty much all told me that maybe it's because I haven't been fully casting all my cares, worries, fears and burdens onto God to take care of and instead, have been holding onto them for myself to worry about. I think there might be some truth to that, and I have seriously been trying to do that, but I can't help but think that my lack of sleep is some kind of test from God. Maybe its cos I have been reading Job - I dunno.

Last night, I had a bit of a break through. Yesterday I felt like crap and I was absolutely at my wit's end with not being able to sleep for the last few weeks. I prayed that night something like:

OK God, It's been a while since I have had a good night's sleep, and You and I both know that it's getting pretty hard to function. If I am still holding on to any problems, cares, worries or fears, please take them from me and give me the courage to let go. Please give me just a bit of sleep tonight, and please make whatever sleep You give me enough to deal with tomorrow.

I had difficulty sleeping for a few hours (no surprises there), but instead of just laying there, I got out of bed, sat at the computer and did some formatting on the Sola Fide newsletter (my church's youth's newsletter) for about an hour. After that I went back into my bed and I seriously just nodded off! I still remember how to sleep - yay! =) Thank God! Today I still felt a bit tired, but I felt heaps better.

The whole incident reminds me of the verse in the Bible that says:

There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above that you are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it.

1 Corinthians 10:13

In other words, God knows our limits and will always prepare a way out of the tests He puts us through. I also reckon that through these tests, He is building our character too. I know that I for one, will be less likely to take the blessing of sleep for granted from now on, and the next time someone tells me they have difficulty sleeping, trust me when I say, I will totally be able to relate!