contentment

I find myself listening to a lot of music and reading a lot of books that say that Jesus is all that we need and with Him alone, we have everything. And every time I hear these songs, or read these books, I find myself agreeing and saying Yeah, that's right! Jesus is all that I need and all that I want - what more could I want? what is even worth wanting other than a relationship with Christ?! And pretty much a few minutes after thinking that I will be lying in bed, sitting on the bus, sitting at my desk at work, walking along the road, driving my car, doing my thing and thinking about all the things that I want and how they will make me happy: buying something, eating some good food, starting a relationship, getting a job promotion, losing some of my muffin top =)... And then I feel bad that I can't even be content with just God for longer than it takes to finish listening to the song, or reading the chapter of the book /Bible.

Isn't that shocking? What makes me feel the worst is that God knows my thought life too and He therefore knows that despite my profession of love for Him and Him alone, I really am cheating on Him by wanting all these other things too. Dunno how He finds it in His heart to keep forgiving me and wanting to keep loving me... I wouldn't tolerate that kind of hypocrisy any day. But God is God and I am me.

Again, I don't really know how to find full satisfaction in God alone, but I guess it has something to do with realising that the things that distract me from my relationship with God are really (most of the time) from God - and it is totally wrong to love the gift more than the Giver. That's the problem with my mind, as I have shared in previous posts, I am one forgetful soul, and I find that the things I have 'learnt' and subsequently share with others, I will usually be telling myself as well because I need to be told again and again and again. The Lord knows that He will never be done with this soul until she is in Heaven with Him.

It reminds me of the song 'He's Still Working on Me' which goes like this:

There really ought to be a sign upon my heart
'Don't judge me yet, there's an unfinished part'
But I'll be perfect just according to His plan
Fashioned by the Master's loving hand

He's still working on me, to make me what I ought to be
It took Him just His word to make the moon and the stars
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars
How lovingly and patient He must be, He's still working on me.

In the mirror of His word, reflections that I see
Make me wonder why He never gave up on me;
But He loves me as I am and helps me when I pray
Remember He's the Potter, I'm the clay.

I find great comfort in knowing that God is the author and finisher of my faith and that I am one of His works of art. He knows exactly what He wants to do with me, and what He wants to turn me into and I find that really exciting! Who better to mould and shape me than the One who put the stars in the sky and the One who holds the universe in His hand?

Jesus plus nothing equals everything!