modern chivalry

Since starting to do work at QV1, there is something that has caught my attention. The majority of men will stand back and let women into and out of the lifts first, before entering or exiting themselves. They hold the door open and some even ask you what level you are on and press the button for you. It's a small thing, but me and the other girls from my work have noticed it (our normal building isn't really like that as much) - and it's pretty obvious when a guy walks in without letting the girls go first.

On a similar note, today I saw a businessman on the bus stand up for a lady holding lots of stuff, and offered her a seat (no other guys, even those who were younger, did the same thing). And the other week, an old couple were at dinner and as they were leaving, I noticed the husband helping his wife put on her coat. It was a small gesture, but I thought it was nice!

It's also good to see some of the brothers at church being chivalrous by helping sisters carry things, escorting them to their car or elsewhere at night, opening doors, allowing them to go first in lunch fellowship lines and all that kinda stuff. (Good on ya fellas! Keep it up! We sisters do notice your kindness and do appreciate it!)

It might be a sign of the times, but I have noticed that such acts of chivalry are a rarity in today's society. It just doesn't happen very much - so much so that it's a pleasant surprise when as a woman, you see or experience a chivalrous act from a kind stranger. I think it is something that should be encouraged and brought back!

I found this interesting article online which I thought was worth sharing (well at least part of it anyway). Although the writer may not be a Christian (I don't know myself), the principles (I believe) are quite good and worth taking note. Let's bring back chivalry!

The virtues of chivalry offer more than pleasantries and politeness. They give purpose and meaning to male strength, and therefore support the overall workings of society. They remind us that Camelot is an ideal worth striving for, the reflection of who we are when we are at our best. Here is a short summary:

Truth provides the foundation of chivalry. A man who lies cannot be trusted. His strength and ambitions cannot be counted on. Truth should always remain our greatest concern.

Loyalty denotes a relationship that is based on truth and commitment. If we are fortunate, we have companions who are loyal to us—but we must be loyal to others as well. Remember, loyalty is a virtue to cultivate, even when it is not reciprocated.

Courtesy provides the means for cordial and meaningful relationships. A society cannot be healthy without courteous interaction. We sometimes admire people who trample on courtesy to get what they want—but keep in mind, the contentious world they create is very disappointing, and we all have to live in it.

Chivalry calls men to honor women, and to serve as their helpmates. This precept merely states the natural order of things. Men should honor women first as people, and then as the conduits and nurturers of life. That certain men commit violence against women, or treat them with disrespect, is an outrage against nature, and presents a poor image of manhood.

Justice involves little more than treating people fairly. It also calls for mercy. We all make mistakes.

We admire men who are strong, but if their strength is not directed to uphold what is good, what value does it have? We are therefore called to use our strength to defend those who cannot defend themselves, and commit ourselves to just causes. Never oppress other people.

Nothing is more unmanly and corruptive to society than delighting in scandal and gossip. Not only do you harm those who are victims of gossip, you harm yourself as well. How? By becoming a creature who is unloving. It is wrong to delight in the guilt or suffering of others, or to feed the flames of scandal, a major occupation of nightly television shows. No one is perfect. That fact in itself unites us all.

Chivalry also speaks about romantic love. People today often find romantic love disappointing. It promises more than it delivers, especially in regards to permanence. Why? Because we
perceive romantic love as something spontaneous, something that does not demand work and a strong moral base. Medieval literature tells us quite the opposite. The very essence of romantic love is commitment. This is where chivalry provides a vital ingredient. Love relationships provide the laboratory where the virtues of chivalry are tested to their fullest, and manliness is finally proved. An added bonus shows that proper love encourages us to do our best in all things.

We often take who we are for granted—as if our beliefs and behaviors are fixed in stone. The truth is that we are creatures constantly in the making. We either move forward in our development, or backwards. Staying still is the same as going backwards. Why? Because the movement of time never holds still. We either progress with it, or are left behind.